








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3442 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5313 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2361 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5118 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,168 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jborrmann | 34 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | c00trt00tr | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | OhBother | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Chlooee | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | The Carpathia | 9 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Carpathia | 1419 | 0.26 | 41 min |
| #2 | c00trt00tr | 661 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | Tors0_ | 544 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | OhBother | 432 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Jborrmann | 430 | 0.09 | 11 min |





