








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2046 | 43% |
| Smokes | 904 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 762 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,308 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klunkedasker | 63% | 83 |
| #2 | Mathais | 61% | 84 |
| #3 | awawawawa | 59% | 59 |
| #4 | Jens | 52% | 177 |
| #5 | benadrylblowfish | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klunkedasker | 63% | 83 |
| #2 | Mathais | 61% | 84 |
| #3 | awawawawa | 59% | 59 |
| #4 | Jens | 52% | 177 |
| #5 | benadrylblowfish | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mathais | 20 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | benadrylblowfish | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Jens | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Klunkedasker | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | awawawawa | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jens | 595 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | benadrylblowfish | 561 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | awawawawa | 401 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #4 | Klunkedasker | 253 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mathais | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awawawawa | +3.46 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Klunkedasker | +2.26 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Jens | +2.21 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | benadrylblowfish | +1.16 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Mathais | -2.08 | 48 | 34 |





