








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1698 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1843 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,446 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mello Shelby Sigma - ✪ M - <3 | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | Iske | 46% | 46 |
| #12 | stepaa | 44% | 27 |
| #13 | Pops | 41% | 32 |
| #14 | bayram | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | njofra | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | dropDead | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | m0N5TER | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | fella | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Mello Shelby Sigma - ✪ M - <3 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fella | 208 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Iske | 168 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | njofra | 136 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | dropDead | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | stepaa | 96 | 0.17 | 2 min |





