








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2641 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4296 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3740 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2029 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,930,178 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 832 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Juicy | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | Dyno | 48% | 93 |
| #8 | Hayzer | 48% | 212 |
| #9 | Jasi | 46% | 117 |
| #10 | ASoggySandal | 46% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathPanter | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Hayzer | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ASoggySandal | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Kjaery | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jasi | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayzer | 1702 | 0.38 | 56 min |
| #2 | ASoggySandal | 560 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | DeathPanter | 354 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | Willip | 267 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kjaery | 257 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kjaery | +2.04 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Hayzer | +1.45 | 63 | 83 |
| #3 | DeathPanter | +1.17 | 56 | 66 |
| #4 | Juicy | +0.26 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | Tom | -0.12 | 71 | 55 |





