








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 450 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12850 | 36% |
| Smokes | 9861 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7844 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5060 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,057 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathPanter | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ASoggySandal | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Jasi | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Juicy | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Tom | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASoggySandal | 652 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | DeathPanter | 519 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Kjaery | 450 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Jasi | 329 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Willip | 258 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kjaery | +1.78 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | Hayzer | +1.29 | 63 | 83 |
| #3 | DeathPanter | +1.08 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | Juicy | +0.03 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | TheRazor | -0.41 | 66 | 62 |





