








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1006 | 41% |
| Smokes | 411 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 698 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 338 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,449 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssac | 43% | 21 |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 35% | 26 |
| #3 | tek | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Casserole | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssac | 43% | 21 |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 35% | 26 |
| #3 | tek | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Casserole | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssac | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 44 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Casserole | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #4 | ssac | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jam | +2.41 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | tek | +1.10 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | DumpDaddy | -2.15 | 33 | 30 |
| #4 | ssac | -9.89 | 0 | 4 |
| #5 | Casserole | -14.07 | 2 | 5 |





