










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 485 | 28% |
| Smokes | 618 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 344 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 291 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,542 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nissan Pulsar 1.6L | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | HAIRLINEISCOOKED | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Vlad | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | TriedThrice | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Cal | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ToastedSandwich | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | MoeMoe | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Lebonbon | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Lupo | 39% | 46 |
| #10 | TFAO | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cal | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Lupo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ToastedSandwich | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vlad | 153 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cal | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | HAIRLINEISCOOKED | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lupo | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ToastedSandwich | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lupo | +3.06 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | Vlad | +2.69 | 56 | 47 |
| #3 | Cal | -0.67 | 39 | 43 |
| #4 | TFAO | -1.48 | 53 | 44 |
| #5 | Nissan Pulsar 1.6L | -1.51 | 40 | 47 |





