










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 30 | 4% |
| Smokes | 308 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 182 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 305 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $61,797 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0mplex | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ToastedSandwich | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Cal | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | MoeMoe | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | HAIRLINEISCOOKED | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HAIRLINEISCOOKED | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | Lupo | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Vlad | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | m-ilk | 35% | 20 |
| #9 | TriedThrice | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lupo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ToastedSandwich | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m-ilk | 48 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lupo | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Vlad | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | HAIRLINEISCOOKED | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cal | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0mplex | +4.23 | 64 | 20 |
| #2 | Lupo | +4.09 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | Vlad | +2.75 | 58 | 48 |
| #4 | ToastedSandwich | -1.07 | 39 | 26 |
| #5 | Cal | -1.53 | 44 | 38 |





