








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 923 | 32% |
| Smokes | 767 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 531 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 622 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,865 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | -Z7 | 67% | 9 |
| #6 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | 65% | 17 |
| #7 | EX7STENCE" | 64% | 11 |
| #8 | - 𝓩𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓪𝓪 | 63% | 89 |
| #9 | ✪ destruct1ve | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - 𝓩𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓪𝓪 | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ✪ tK* ♥ | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | No.Mer[C]yyy | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | QueenJ | 2 | 0.0187 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - 𝓩𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓪𝓪 | 340 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | No.Mer[C]yyy | 209 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ destruct1ve | 159 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ tK* ♥ | 145 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | 78 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Z7 | +5.02 | 85 | 39 |
| #2 | ✪ tK* ♥ | +3.61 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | +2.84 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | No.Mer[C]yyy | +2.74 | 81 | 74 |
| #5 | -Destr0yer^ | +2.39 | 79 | 58 |





