








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1219 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1030 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 696 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,960 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 605 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saadu | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | 100% | 12 |
| #3 | No.Mer[C]yyy | 75% | 40 |
| #4 | -Destr0yer^ | 73% | 41 |
| #5 | ✪ destruct1ve | 70% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Destr0yer^ | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | No.Mer[C]yyy | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | 3 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | saadu | 3 | 0.0216 |
| #5 | - 𝓩𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓪𝓪 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - 𝓩𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓪𝓪 | 396 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | No.Mer[C]yyy | 212 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ destruct1ve | 187 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | -Destr0yer^ | 110 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | 63 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No.Mer[C]yyyy | +6.90 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | ✪ tK* ♥ | +3.95 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | -Destr0yer^ | +3.32 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | No.Mer[C]yyy | +3.18 | 79 | 75 |
| #5 | ✪ destruct1ve | +1.87 | 64 | 60 |





