








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1076 | 22% |
| Smokes | 462 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1741 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1619 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,420 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mudinator | 61% | 64 |
| #2 | bluki | 61% | 119 |
| #3 | I need more alcohol | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Herobrine | 59% | 75 |
| #5 | YourCarSalesMan | 57% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bluki | 61% | 119 |
| #3 | I need more alcohol | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Herobrine | 59% | 75 |
| #5 | YourCarSalesMan | 57% | 77 |
| #6 | Radiance | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mudinator | 38 | 0.0355 |
| #2 | YourCarSalesMan | 27 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | bluki | 17 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Herobrine | 17 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | I need more alcohol | 8 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluki | 199 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | YourCarSalesMan | 107 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Herobrine | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | mudinator | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Radiance | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j11a | +7.85 | 93 | 45 |
| #2 | I need more alcohol | +0.17 | 55 | 18 |
| #3 | bluki | -0.51 | 57 | 32 |
| #4 | Herobrine | -0.99 | 50 | 50 |
| #5 | YourCarSalesMan | -1.03 | 69 | 30 |





