










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1971 | 32% |
| Smokes | 373 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1828 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2037 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,077 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lachlando | 54% | 85 |
| #2 | Mags | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | ⊹MyNanRipsMadCones⊹ | 50% | 161 |
| #4 | me when the when i when the and | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | Jason™ | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | me when the when i when the and | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | Jason™ | 48% | 122 |
| #6 | Zeus | 48% | 60 |
| #7 | ke0nOnie *✧・♥💫𓍢ִ໋ | 42% | 36 |
| #8 | tomyum | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me when the when i when the and | 22 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Jason™ | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Mags | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | ⊹MyNanRipsMadCones⊹ | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Zeus | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me when the when i when the and | 402 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jason™ | 392 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | ⊹MyNanRipsMadCones⊹ | 329 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Zeus | 196 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mags | 188 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mags | +5.28 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | me when the when i when the and | +3.29 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Jason™ | +1.71 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | Zeus | +1.13 | 67 | 47 |
| #5 | lachlando | -0.93 | 42 | 34 |





