










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 134 | 23% |
| Smokes | 244 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 37 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 165 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,771 of utility $303 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goat | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Yoshimuro | 49% | 111 |
| #3 | Xionias | 47% | 130 |
| #4 | TheRustyCow | 41% | 46 |
| #5 | i come in peace | 38% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goat | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Yoshimuro | 49% | 111 |
| #3 | Xionias | 47% | 130 |
| #4 | TheRustyCow | 41% | 46 |
| #5 | i come in peace | 38% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i come in peace | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Xionias | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Yoshimuro | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | TheRustyCow | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoshimuro | 433 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | i come in peace | 242 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | TheRustyCow | 167 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Xionias | 129 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | goat | 23 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goat | +4.37 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | i come in peace | +2.77 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | Yoshimuro | +1.57 | 51 | 67 |
| #4 | Bajo10000 | +0.18 | 59 | 19 |
| #5 | TheRustyCow | -0.05 | 56 | 50 |





