










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 712 | 56% |
| Smokes | 186 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 271 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,229 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goat | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Bajo10000 | 47% | 130 |
| #3 | Yoshimuro | 47% | 124 |
| #4 | TheRustyCow | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | i come in peace | 40% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goat | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Bajo10000 | 47% | 130 |
| #3 | Yoshimuro | 47% | 124 |
| #4 | TheRustyCow | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | i come in peace | 40% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoshimuro | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | i come in peace | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bajo10000 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | TheRustyCow | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | goat | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoshimuro | 504 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | i come in peace | 279 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | TheRustyCow | 188 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bajo10000 | 54 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | goat | 23 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goat | +4.89 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | i come in peace | +2.68 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Yoshimuro | +1.71 | 50 | 68 |
| #4 | Bajo10000 | +0.28 | 59 | 20 |
| #5 | TheRustyCow | +0.25 | 57 | 50 |





