








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 755 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1445 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,041 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JigsawLV | 48% | 69 |
| #11 | frostical | 46% | 78 |
| #12 | Cheer | 45% | 33 |
| #13 | Tak aizvewries bla | 45% | 49 |
| #14 | shadywhiteguy | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesuscxhrist | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | 1von | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | frostical | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Cheer | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | THAI MING | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axom | 232 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #2 | uvenus | 218 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #3 | frostical | 188 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | shadywhiteguy | 141 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | Khahyyr | 136 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesuscxhrist | +4.97 | 89 | 48 |
| #2 | frostical | +4.32 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | axom | +2.75 | 90 | 70 |
| #4 | shadywhiteguy | +1.51 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | THAI MING | +0.85 | 81 | 59 |





