








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1976 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1741 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2555 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,830 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | single mom of 17 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | 1von | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | MacmysticG | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Aigars Kalvītis | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | LOCS999 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacmysticG | 124 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Aigars Kalvītis | 123 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | 1von | 118 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cheer | 106 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tak aizvewries bla | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |





