








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2565 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1582 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1644 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,139 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padhimself | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | BP | 60% | 68 |
| #3 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 59% | 96 |
| #4 | yock | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | mausa | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Pump | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | BP | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | yock | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | padhimself | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pump | 462 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #2 | BP | 296 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | UnicornBallzツ | 266 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cutie Jebediah :( | 185 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | yock | 176 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padhimself | +3.33 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | BP | +2.79 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | UK_BUBA | +0.76 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | smithyyy | +0.74 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | Díomách Opal | +0.69 | 77 | 46 |





