










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 22% |
| Smokes | 729 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 685 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 588 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,462 of utility $304 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryxn | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Huwgo | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Livi | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | skip | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Myspo | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | caaaz | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | Bokkum64 | 43% | 21 |
| #13 | Sqrl | 42% | 33 |
| #14 | Jouseppe | 39% | 33 |
| #15 | En.Krypted | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouseppe | 107 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jordan | 70 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | skip | 66 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ryxn | 59 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dusk | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |





