








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1090 | 25% |
| Smokes | 931 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1654 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,246 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Divine | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | DaddysNotNyce | 41% | 32 |
| #13 | Buster | 39% | 44 |
| #14 | Power_Outlet | 37% | 35 |
| #15 | SmeaR | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buster | 22 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | The fog is coming. | 17 | 0.0359 |
| #3 | Nappin | 11 | 0.0195 |
| #4 | bliq | 8 | 0.0167 |
| #5 | sDoow | 7 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buster | 152 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Power_Outlet | 137 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | = dys ♿ | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Divine | 69 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vari | 69 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vari | +6.69 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Divine | +3.17 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | SmeaR | +2.66 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | Star | +2.61 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | Buster | +2.56 | 85 | 69 |





