








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 683 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1587 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,435 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ I cant carry ♡ | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Star | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | Divine | 49% | 104 |
| #4 | = dys ♿ | 43% | 143 |
| #5 | SmeaR | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Star | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | Divine | 49% | 104 |
| #4 | = dys ♿ | 43% | 143 |
| #5 | SmeaR | 42% | 53 |
| #6 | TeleTubbyOnAcid | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | = dys ♿ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Star | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | SmeaR | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | TeleTubbyOnAcid | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Divine | 344 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | = dys ♿ | 274 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Star | 168 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | SmeaR | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | TeleTubbyOnAcid | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Star | +1.91 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | Divine | +1.57 | 64 | 48 |
| #3 | SmeaR | +0.93 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | = dys ♿ | +0.12 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Power_Outlet | +0.00 | 51 | 55 |





