








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2165 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2174 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3665 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3355 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,058 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intact <>< | 398 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | andrew | 338 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | kaw | 239 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | 🥶🍦BING CHILLING 冰淇淋 | 213 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | WarOwlWarOwlWarOwlWarOwlWarOwlWa | 158 | 0.15 | 4 min |





