








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 259 | 32% |
| Smokes | 124 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 203 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,741 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leae han | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Nguy | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | MathProfessor | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Mitsuketa! | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Chumbo2K | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leae han | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Nguy | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | MathProfessor | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Mitsuketa! | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Chumbo2K | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumbo2K | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | leae han | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | MathProfessor | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chumbo2K | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mitsuketa! | 20 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | leae han | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | MathProfessor | 6 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Nguy | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leae han | +4.96 | 92 | 34 |
| #2 | Mitsuketa! | +0.61 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | Chumbo2K | -0.48 | 71 | 26 |
| #4 | Mortoises | -0.54 | 73 | 21 |
| #5 | MathProfessor | -3.16 | 60 | 32 |





