








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1651 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 900 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1489 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,601 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | JAKEY | 58% | 64 |
| #10 | akasayaH | 57% | 23 |
| #11 | YaboDuul | 53% | 58 |
| #12 | ☣︎Chumbo | 52% | 21 |
| #13 | haydens1502 | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKEY | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Her Jett | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Awsome | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ☣︎Chumbo | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Mitsuketa's Grandpa's son's son | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YaboDuul | 351 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | JAKEY | 255 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | t0rtle | 254 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mitsuketa's Grandpa's son's son | 181 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Awsome | 155 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leae | +2.22 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | JAKEY | +2.11 | 94 | 58 |
| #3 | Her Jett | +1.52 | 93 | 60 |
| #4 | qUirkyGamer404 | +0.74 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | Mitsuketa's Grandpa's son's son | +0.44 | 64 | 53 |





