










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1859 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1517 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1239 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1516 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,869 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reacher | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | fy` | 55% | 105 |
| #3 | fella | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Semen Gang | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | weetard wangler | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reacher | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | fy` | 55% | 105 |
| #3 | fella | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Semen Gang | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | weetard wangler | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetard wangler | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Reacher | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Semen Gang | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fy` | 269 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Semen Gang | 140 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | fella | 100 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | Reacher | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | weetard wangler | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fella | +2.35 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Reacher | +1.70 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | weetard wangler | +1.54 | 90 | 58 |
| #4 | Semen Gang | +0.14 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | urnotgoodwhatssoever | +0.03 | 75 | 59 |





