








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3011 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3100 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4797 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4166 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,063,066 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | M3RCKED | 62% | 94 |
| #4 | GodFather | 58% | 179 |
| #5 | Fhaman | 54% | 118 |
| #6 | odokawa | 54% | 338 |
| #7 | Church of Obama | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | odokawa | 2147 | 0.31 | 58 min |
| #2 | GodFather | 638 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | M3RCKED | 421 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | Fhaman | 412 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Church of Obama | 193 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juantonio | +3.52 | 62 | 62 |
| #2 | M3RCKED | +2.94 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | odokawa | +2.32 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | フフフフフ | +0.69 | 87 | 56 |
| #5 | Fhaman | +0.45 | 74 | 51 |





