








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1246 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1162 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 905 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,288 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hood | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Mike Arendt | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | Urteil | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | Nander | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | Maggolein | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hood | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Mike Arendt | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | Urteil | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | Nander | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | Maggolein | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maggolein | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Nander | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Urteil | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Mike Arendt | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nander | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Urteil | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mike Arendt | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Maggolein | 28 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hood | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hood | +3.70 | 59 | 57 |
| #2 | ketboen | +3.06 | 52 | 68 |
| #3 | Nander | +2.23 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Mike Arendt | -0.88 | 24 | 55 |
| #5 | Urteil | -2.20 | 24 | 51 |





