








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




218 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5073 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3489 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4910 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2371 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,154,643 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9/11 Was T Sided | 119 | 0.0328 |
| #2 | doG | 108 | 0.0266 |
| #3 | wiwiwi | 43 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Tonyw | 23 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | ✪N1ko-ッ | 17 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doG | 580 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tonyw | 428 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | 9/11 Was T Sided | 391 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✪N1ko-ッ | 342 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | wiwiwi | 277 | 0.07 | 8 min |





