








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1538 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2452 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,569 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | ʚïɞ | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | vjaK | 71% | 59 |
| #4 | sourdough | 68% | 31 |
| #5 | asdf | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | 6 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | sourdough | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | vjaK | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Stritz | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ʚïɞ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vjaK | 190 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | j | 159 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #3 | sourdough | 129 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | asdf | 100 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | ʚïɞ | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stritz | +3.53 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | j | +3.46 | 84 | 75 |
| #3 | asdf | +3.26 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | sourdough | +2.11 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | beavr | +1.79 | 86 | 55 |





