








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 157 | 6% |
| Smokes | 679 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 974 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,969 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maik | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | chriznmeister=D | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Pozilist Martin Hintzen | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | PhilTipp | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | rhyzon | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spritberg :) | 13 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | $ j0hnnY | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | PhilTipp | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Pozilist Martin Hintzen | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Gero | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhilTipp | 222 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Spritberg :) | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | $ j0hnnY | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Maik | 32 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | rhyzon | 31 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhilTipp | +5.07 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | rhyzon | +4.05 | 85 | 33 |
| #3 | Pozilist Martin Hintzen | +2.62 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | chriznmeister=D | +1.40 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | $ j0hnnY | +1.34 | 66 | 45 |





