










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 544 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1067 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,341 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silv76 | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | ¢нιуσмι | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Marximalkommunist | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ™| яαу✝яαу | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silv76 | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | ¢нιуσмι | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Marximalkommunist | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ™| яαу✝яαу | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ™| яαу✝яαу | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ¢нιуσмι | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | silv76 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Marximalkommunist | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marximalkommunist | 75 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | ¢нιуσмι | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | silv76 | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | ™| яαу✝яαу | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¢нιуσмι | +2.87 | 42 | 56 |
| #2 | Marximalkommunist | +2.85 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | KiinGScaar | Fearlock | +1.61 | 45 | 63 |
| #4 | zlPerfect | -1.57 | 12 | 42 |
| #5 | silv76 | -1.65 | 21 | 37 |





