








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1704 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1276 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1258 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,663 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Delt__ | 42% | 108 |
| #7 | FaZePhart | 40% | 47 |
| #8 | Geeked up and Dangerous | 39% | 257 |
| #9 | jp | 39% | 135 |
| #10 | KyJu | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pattycakes | 40 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Geeked up and Dangerous | 27 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Edward T. Fentanyl | 23 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Delt__ | 17 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | jp | 12 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pattycakes | 431 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Edward T. Fentanyl | 366 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Brimst0ne | 184 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | jp | 165 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Geeked up and Dangerous | 158 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jp | +3.40 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | pattycakes | +3.16 | 44 | 58 |
| #3 | ,<3 | +2.41 | 61 | 29 |
| #4 | Geeked up and Dangerous | +1.65 | 68 | 37 |
| #5 | Brimst0ne | +0.14 | 47 | 63 |





