










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 822 | 38% |
| Smokes | 564 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 338 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,795 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping | 2 | 0.0235 |
| #2 | Loxmyr | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ⚡️ㄥ ㄩ 乂 乇 ⚡ | 1 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | PRODIGAL | 1 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loxmyr | 52 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Chessell | 23 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | PRODIGAL | 21 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | ラクダの猫のワーム | 19 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ping | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chessell | +5.21 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | BuurtvaderJakob | +4.05 | 74 | 39 |
| #3 | ラクダの猫のワーム | +3.99 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | registrert seksuell fornærmer | +3.22 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | Toxic | +2.79 | 82 | 64 |





