








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 886 matches | ||
| Wingman | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7108 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9583 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11635 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 8434 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,933,706 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Cartmanez | 50% | 271 |
| #2 | Ronny the Kid | 48% | 249 |
| #3 | Alb | 48% | 411 |
| #4 | $cHmiDDi | 48% | 541 |
| #5 | Lasselele | 46% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | $cHmiDDi | 48% | 541 |
| #5 | Lasselele | 46% | 133 |
| #6 | Timmy | 44% | 315 |
| #7 | -=BM=-Maximus | 42% | 233 |
| #8 | Pvt-Schneeflittchen | 42% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $cHmiDDi | 22 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Alb | 22 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | -=BM=-Maximus | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Mr. Cartmanez | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Ronny the Kid | 13 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alb | 958 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #2 | -=BM=-Maximus | 698 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | Ronny the Kid | 668 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | Timmy | 609 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | Pvt-Schneeflittchen | 501 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alb | +1.52 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Ronny the Kid | +0.98 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | Timmy | +0.82 | 51 | 62 |
| #4 | Sir William ✈ | +0.52 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | Mr. Cartmanez | +0.02 | 37 | 63 |





