








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4404 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5415 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4824 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4027 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,679 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Cartmanez | 52% | 171 |
| #2 | $cHmiDDi | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | Rainer Wahnsinn | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | Sir William ✈ | 48% | 249 |
| #5 | Alb | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Cartmanez | 52% | 171 |
| #2 | $cHmiDDi | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | Rainer Wahnsinn | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | Sir William ✈ | 48% | 249 |
| #5 | Alb | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir William ✈ | 21 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Mr. Cartmanez | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | $cHmiDDi | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Alb | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Rainer Wahnsinn | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir William ✈ | 310 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mr. Cartmanez | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Alb | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | $cHmiDDi | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rainer Wahnsinn | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alb | +1.27 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Ronny the Kid | +1.01 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | Mr. Cartmanez | +0.18 | 39 | 58 |
| #4 | Sir William ✈ | -0.18 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | $cHmiDDi | -1.32 | 52 | 45 |





