








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 317 | 16% |
| Smokes | 423 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 546 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,628 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gabriel | 32% | 31 |
| #6 | The Last Fent Bender | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | World's crispiest Fries | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | HOLO من فضلك لا تزيل | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | Jean Kulbain | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 21_Chromosome | 10 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | google was my idea | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Gabriel | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Jean Kulbain | 4 | 0.0183 |
| #5 | The Last Fent Bender | 4 | 0.0290 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOLO من فضلك لا تزيل | +6.72 | 82 | 37 |
| #2 | Klug | +4.66 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | World's crispiest Fries | +3.22 | 81 | 27 |
| #4 | The Last Fent Bender | +3.03 | 96 | 51 |
| #5 | 21_Chromosome | +2.57 | 78 | 22 |





