








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3138 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1539 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1754 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2452 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,076 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sophie | 91% | 22 |
| #2 | Maermin | 91% | 33 |
| #3 | JudioN 沒女 | 88% | 26 |
| #4 | delightful | 88% | 78 |
| #5 | umar | 88% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hotaru Kenzen | 79% | 19 |
| #9 | Mira Tsu | 75% | 148 |
| #10 | nazunananakusa | 75% | 209 |
| #11 | flori | 72% | 29 |
| #12 | ✠ Molestima | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nazunananakusa | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | delightful | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ☆ 111loggedin // ddaddy kitten ♡ | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | flori | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | umar | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nazunananakusa | 136 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | delightful | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mira Tsu | 64 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Neuköln's feinste Schokospalte | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | flori | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JudioN 沒女 | +9.65 | 100 | 29 |
| #2 | umar | +9.51 | 100 | 35 |
| #3 | Hotaru Kenzen | +6.04 | 99 | 67 |
| #4 | delightful | +5.68 | 99 | 75 |
| #5 | ☆ 111loggedin // ddaddy kitten ♡ | +5.31 | 100 | 32 |





