








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1760 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1550 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,428 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lugia | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Mario | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Troy | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lugia | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Mario | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Troy | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troy | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Lugia | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Mario | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 166 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mario | 142 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Troy | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lugia | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T | +1.61 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | Lugia | -0.87 | 56 | 48 |
| #3 | Sil (terminally stupid) | -1.67 | 68 | 49 |
| #4 | Troy | -1.78 | 88 | 59 |
| #5 | Mario | -2.26 | 56 | 60 |





