








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4873 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2974 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2949 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4104 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,700 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | T | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | Mario | 45% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | T | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | Mario | 45% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Mario | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | T | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 357 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sil (terminally stupid) | 215 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | T | 117 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T | +2.89 | 93 | 41 |
| #2 | Troy | +0.02 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | Sil (terminally stupid) | -1.31 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | Mario | -1.68 | 51 | 63 |





