








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 260 | 37% |
| Smokes | 38 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 217 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,260 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pokemon Trainer Jesse | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Kerma | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | wbQ | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Villisonni | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Peku | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sw1nG | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | bebe ✟ | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | mike | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | Jonald | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | gablant | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 4 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | bebe ✟ | 4 | 0.0233 |
| #3 | Sw1nG | 2 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | wbQ | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Kerma | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bebe ✟ | 52 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #2 | mike | 37 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | wbQ | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sw1nG | 18 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jonald | 16 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerma | +6.73 | 50 | 75 |
| #2 | Sw1nG | +2.00 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | Jonald | +1.90 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Munkki Tuck | +1.70 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | mike | +1.48 | 72 | 37 |





