








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 34 | 23% |
| Smokes | 30 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 33 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 54 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,704 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Animaltactics | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | woman | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Spooky | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Lynn | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | John Kahuna Laguna | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Spooky | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Lynn | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | John Kahuna Laguna | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | la plink | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | #BigNaturals | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | 1 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynn | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | woman | 12 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| #3 | John Kahuna Laguna | 11 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | la plink | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Spooky | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynn | +3.80 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | John Kahuna Laguna | +2.83 | 67 | 28 |
| #3 | woman | +2.15 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | Spooky | +2.12 | 74 | 47 |
| #5 | Lillie | +0.31 | 78 | 19 |





