








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2770 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3458 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2335 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2672 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,258 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | Ash | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | PL | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | ❤ mantra | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Noname | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | Ash | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | PL | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | ❤ mantra | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Noname | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ash | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Noname | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | ❤ mantra | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | PL | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Spooky | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤ mantra | 81 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Spooky | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ash | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | PL | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Noname | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynn | +2.74 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | PL | +1.99 | 61 | 38 |
| #3 | ❤ mantra | -0.35 | 54 | 45 |
| #4 | Ash | -1.35 | 44 | 35 |
| #5 | Spooky | -1.42 | 63 | 43 |





