








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3354 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3427 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1850 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3133 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,140 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaredead | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Elle | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Not Ozix | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | -staRiTTo ? | 55% | 110 |
| #5 | oubas | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Not Ozix | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | -staRiTTo ? | 55% | 110 |
| #5 | oubas | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | NykxS | 32% | 22 |
| #7 | Frosty Two Hands | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -staRiTTo ? | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Not Ozix | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Frosty Two Hands | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | oubas | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | zaredead | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -staRiTTo ? | 699 | 0.32 | 21 min |
| #2 | Not Ozix | 81 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | zaredead | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | NykxS | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Frosty Two Hands | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -staRiTTo ? | +3.10 | 92 | 80 |
| #2 | zaredead | +0.84 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | oubas | +0.35 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | Frosty Two Hands | +0.33 | 88 | 64 |
| #5 | Elle | -0.06 | 83 | 55 |





