








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Renown | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2367 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2006 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2194 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1982 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $764,318 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | stoertebeker | 59% | 76 |
| #4 | LuckyDuck | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | Juuuko | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 46% | 52 |
| #7 | [WSvB] Atin | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuckyDuck | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | [WSvB] Atin | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | stoertebeker | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Juuuko | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuckyDuck | 345 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | stoertebeker | 332 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Juuuko | 117 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dollar Don | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |





