








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3987 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3698 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3176 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1937 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,689,255 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evisz | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | allu | 51% | 170 |
| #3 | m1tacha | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | frytka361 | 49% | 239 |
| #5 | Lelonex | 48% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 26 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Lelonex | 22 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | m1tacha | 19 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | UnderForest | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | frytka361 | 13 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lelonex | 579 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | allu | 403 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | m1tacha | 396 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | UnderForest | 176 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | frytka361 | 162 | 0.03 | 4 min |





