








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3880 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2152 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2411 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2108 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,728 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haag3n | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | T#WeK*Hbc | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | Soebroe | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Cap'n Crunch | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haag3n | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | T#WeK*Hbc | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | Soebroe | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Cap'n Crunch | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cap'n Crunch | 9 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | T#WeK*Hbc | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Soebroe | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T#WeK*Hbc | 398 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | Soebroe | 84 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cap'n Crunch | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | haag3n | 42 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T#WeK*Hbc | +1.85 | 73 | 77 |
| #2 | Soebroe | +1.68 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Fætter | +0.65 | 76 | 70 |
| #4 | Cap'n Crunch | -1.53 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | haag3n | -3.04 | 59 | 66 |





