








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1224 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1338 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1649 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,332 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJ | 75% | 51 |
| #2 | Ni | 60% | 77 |
| #3 | Dirty | 55% | 114 |
| #4 | ✪Cori✪ | 53% | 80 |
| #5 | TTV GonzaHD | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Cori✪ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Ni | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Dirty | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | JJ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | TTV GonzaHD | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Cori✪ | 363 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Dirty | 256 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ni | 231 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | JJ | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | TTV GonzaHD | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ni | +2.15 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | JJ | +1.83 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | ImpulsXE | +0.99 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Dirty | +0.15 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪Cori✪ | -0.30 | 66 | 72 |





