








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,910 | |
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1098 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,162 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceOfSpades | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | tietusentimaogsug | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | tuvaan | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | BOY♂NEXT♂DOOR | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | PappaAnka^ | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceOfSpades | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | tietusentimaogsug | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | tuvaan | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | BOY♂NEXT♂DOOR | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | PappaAnka^ | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOY♂NEXT♂DOOR | 5 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | tietusentimaogsug | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tietusentimaogsug | 173 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | PappaAnka^ | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | tuvaan | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | BOY♂NEXT♂DOOR | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PappaAnka^ | +1.73 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | Joe Pantoliano | +1.70 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | tuvaan | +0.97 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | tietusentimaogsug | -0.68 | 62 | 70 |
| #5 | AceOfSpades | -2.37 | 58 | 53 |





