








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 25% |
| Smokes | 100 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 67 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 123 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $36,280 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tietusentimaogsug | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | haakon :))) | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Joe Pantoliano | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | leider | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tietusentimaogsug | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | haakon :))) | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Joe Pantoliano | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | leider | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leider | 25 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Joe Pantoliano | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | haakon :))) | 3 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | tietusentimaogsug | 2 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon :))) | +2.86 | 52 | 32 |
| #2 | Joe Pantoliano | +1.81 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | tuvaan | +1.44 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | tietusentimaogsug | +1.43 | 58 | 35 |
| #5 | leider | -1.07 | 51 | 72 |





