








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8196 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5423 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4480 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4486 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,256 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | diegosupa | 55% | 29 |
| #6 | iNSZ' ↖(^ω^)↗ |-/ | 55% | 73 |
| #7 | MojitoM ☁ | 53% | 182 |
| #8 | KoKa | 51% | 47 |
| #9 | s0und | 48% | 44 |





