








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 20% |
| Smokes | 479 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 453 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,951 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PuMpTeHbOsS | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | m | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | mentals | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | ✯Terrok✯ | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Kingpazx | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | woo | 29% | 7 |
| #15 | Oskpolele | 25% | 8 |
| #16 | ExeFire | 20% | 5 |
| #17 | AnZwA | 14% | 7 |
| #18 | Asgeir | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strope | +1.91 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | PuMpTeHbOsS | +1.30 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | woo | +1.13 | 95 | 64 |
| #4 | mentals | +0.87 | 70 | 75 |
| #5 | runz | +0.82 | 90 | 68 |





